HOW do i KNOW?

i have a feeling that i have a certain talent.
TO KNOW. a basta alam ko na 'yan.

background: probably, it's my personality to be connected to other people's lives. i easily get affected by little stories happening, especially to the people i really care about: my friends. i get entangled in their web of their hearts' joys and pains. i get sucked into the blackhole of tsismis. in the end, i would want to feel needed - the shoulder to cry on, the psychologist, the joe d'mango, the adviser, etc.

from this background, i probably developed my skill of knowing. to substantiate further, knowing here does not mean something pertinent that would add to our stock of knowledge through studying, reading books, listening to lectures, etc. knowing, in this sense, involves the not-so-important knowledge, especially of people but these knowledge is the most juicy one.

the talent: the talent is involved with knowing without getting caught, fishing information without asking it directly. magpapaliguy-ligoy para makaipon ng datos. all possible non-academic, sometimes non-ethical, research methods would be used to gather the juiciest stories one can ever find. kulang na lang, ipublish sa tabloid at ifeature sa the buzz. i had develop a knack for these.

included in the juiciest information are the new love teams, brewing crushes, likes and loves, new issues between people (good or bad), possible causes of conflict, likeable people, hateable people. these information-gathering talent is very helpful in seeking "evidence" to corroborate my newly discovered ISSUES.

when asked, "paano mo nga ba ginagawa?" i would simply share techniques. the easiest being: reading between the lines. people would tend to include thousands of messages in a simple sentence. how would you know? the manner of delivery, body language, sentences before and after, conversation premise, possible intent in saying. there are many clues leading to those hidden messages. one must be aware of those rather than the concrete statement to be able to understand. there are many other ways but i don't want to further elaborate on them. hindi naman ito ang point nito.

point: i have realized that this has been part of my system. i get so easily distracted by possible sources of information and luckily, i have somewhere, or should i say, someone with whom i can share it with. i won't disclose names. baka tawagan niyo bigla tapos magtanung-tanong kayo. long before, i believe that it was simply out of my curiosity but now, it is also part of my desire to be in control and my need to be needed. i have to take part in other people's lives to fulfill myself.

sometimes, it is fun to do: unravelling the mysteries of a hidden feeling deep down towards another while the rest of the world don't know anything about it. the good feeling comes in when you know you're the first one who finds out and has the capacity to share it with other curious ones. but sometimes, it isn't. it's too overwhelming and the responsibility is way way GREATER. yes, this style may work but once you open the pandora's box of altruism. there's no turning back. everything depends now on how you handle the situation and in how you, as the third party, take part in the issue.

but hey, i'm not your typical chismoso. i would not tell or share what is not right. i would gather information that would be well-corroborated and truthful. oftentimes, those that remain in the speculation level would remain with my good friend and middleman with whom i share my theories.

ps. i promise. i would share my secrets in knowing in the coming entries.