song excerpt: barry manilow - somewhere down the road

we had the right love at the wrong time
guess i always knew inside...

...coz somewhere down the road,
our roads are gonna cross again
it doesn't really matter when
somewhere down the road
i know that heart of yours will come to see
that you belong with me...

~ haaaay...

---

short reflection lang. i was thinking about this for quite a while now. probably the reason why i am not entertaining any thoughts of being with someone at the moment is because i'm in a waiting mode. what do i mean? i believe that there's something within me that's still waiting for someone special in my life to come home. sino siya? i am not really sure though. minsan, pumapasok sa isipan ko na baka kaya ako ganito, hinihintay ko siyang bumalik.

ano bang kwento? heto. i had a childhood friend. we had this little "puppy love" with a pseudo-relationship. one of my vivid memories of her is that we made a promise to love each other for the rest of our lives. pero we were kids then. what do we know about love? then, we grew up, we never really become closer as we become more mature. she lived isolated from most people and i, the same. nagkahiyaan na kami at wala man lang lakas ng loob para mag-"hi" or mag-"hello" man lang. i remembered that she turned out to be a very beautiful long-haired lady.

however, she went to canada to live there permanently. i never saw her ever since. worse, i wasn't able to see her leave. in a way, medyo di ko na rin pinapansin ang thoughts about it. anyway, we were not close anymore. but sometimes, i just can't help remembering our childhood.

one time i recalled, back in high school, she went here and passed by our place. i think it was a saturday or a sunday. the people at home entertained her. unfortunately, i was not here. i think i was in school. "sayang!" sabi nila dito. di mo siya nakita. they said she has grown. i think she was looking for me also. sayang talaga. i missed the chance of seeing her again.

ngayon, di ko na alam kung nasaan siya o kung kelan siya ulit babalik dito sa pilipinas. di ko na masyadong naiisip. medyo nito lang mga nagdaang araw nang ma-highlight ang love sa mga usapan. i think i was fixated to be someone who is still waiting. waiting for her to come back. kung hindi for closure baka for some kind of opening. baka siya nga ang hinihintay ko talaga.

natatawa lang talaga ako kasi dati-rati this thought would cross my mind. yung thought na baka siya ang hinihintay ko. pero, ngayon ko lang talaga napagtuunan ng pansin ang bagay na ito. sana magbalik siya kaagad nang malaman ko. sana nababasa niya ito.

i am never this mushy when i write but i need to be more honest with myself. kahit i'm confused at times with my identity, i know that deep within me, i'm still waiting. i'm waiting for her. i'm waiting for her to come back, to come home. wala akong pakialam kung ano na ang itsura niya o kung may nakilala na siyang iba. ang mahalaga magkaalaman na.

but, just as everybody waiting. we need patient waiting. hintay lang, ika nga. maybe one day, magkukrus muli ang aming mga landas. somewhere down the road. malay natin. :)