life. a melody. a rhythm. a harmony. a song written and sung by myself. so come on, sing with me!

8.30.2004

now, i'm really BACK

now, let me just elaborate on my wonderful experiences that i haven't blogged about. for the past two weeks, i've been through different things. hehe. minsan masaya, minsan hindi. let's start backtracking NOW!

Last weekend - fun but stressful
1. i went to the yclc acquaintance party/sportsfest saturday morning of last week. it was nice seeing younger generations of clcers meeting together and getting to know each other. kaya lang, i noticed that it was not filled with energy. medyo boring ang atmosphere. i don't know who sets the pace of their activity but from my angle, it was somewhat lacking energy, both on the part of the organizers and the participants. i enjoyed my bonding with the pyros people, older clcers from other schools and of course, my favorite, ms. betty didulo! ang dami naming napagkwentuhan about life in xavier, clc, and just about everything. i missed my xavier life, but not xavier work. kaya lang, nalungkot ako ng nalaman kong mamamatay na si fr. mena. just like with fr. cortina last year, bakit ganun? the best priests of xavier are dying. tapos na ba ang misyon nila sa mundo?

2. after the yclc activity, diretso sa debut ng blockmate ko sa dusit hotel nikko. it was quite an experience. siyempre, nagmadali akong umuwi at nagbihis kasi by 7 pm, magsisimula na ang program. i went home at 430. haha. nagmadali ako kasi dadaanan kami nang maaga. when my other blockmate came to fetch me, we still waited for two other blockmates to come. yung isa medyo nalate. yung isa, di namin alam kung nasaan. we had to leave him kasi 6 pm na and we have to be in the hotel by 7 pero nakonsensya kami. we tried all possible means to look for our other blockmate. lo and behold, he was at home, sick. hehe. laking tinik na natanggal sa aming leeg. when we arrived at the hotel, kami lang pala ang mga taga-ateneo, except for 3 others, na nandoon sa debut. kakaiba di ba? nag-enjoy kami kasi first time din naming makitang nakabihis nang ganun at nakaayos ang aming blockmate. hehehe. bakit kaya ang gaganda lagi ng mga debutants? naalala ko tuloy yung subic... haaayyyy... akin na lang ang tarpaulin!

3. yes, i was able to go home by 130 in the morning but i still have to go to area that same morning. woohoo (sarcastic). nagpagising ako para makapunta nang area kahit pagod na pagod na. siyempre, hindi pwedeng di ko gagawin ang aking early morning rituals so i was able to sleep by 4 am. haha. nagising na ako mga 10 am. akala ko wala na yung kasama ko. yun pala kararating din niya. natakot din ako kasi dapat may sasamahan akong areamate pero nagising na ako nang late. pagdating namin dun, nagulat ako nagcommute mag-isa yung areamate namin. galing! nabilib ako. hehe. nandun din ang aking mga ever reliable areamates na kahit hindi required, sumasadya sa area para tupdin ang kanilang tungkulin. siyempre, pinuntahan namin ang aming sinadya -- ang birthday ng bunso ng family ko sa area. you know, it was a light area and i enjoyed kahit sumaglit lang kami.

4. to cap the day, i watched the ateneo-lasalle game. it was not the best game. it was the worst game i watched live ever in my entire life. grabe talaga ang pinakita ng ateneo. pangit na ang defense, pati offense pangit. oh well, bad game lang talaga. although we lost, i was not in that gloomy mode like those who were in the mass right after the game. tuloy lang ang laban. babangon tayo. they should not blame chris for that missed lay-up. hindi magbabago ang laro dahil lang dun. tao lang.

MY WEEKEND. ayos ba?




last week - stressful then fun
1. monday: wala lang. nagcut ako first subject. nagdiscuss second subject. nagtest third subject. nagfreecut ang last subject. ayos di ba? tapos, tapos na ang araw ko.
2. tuesday: lecture day lang. pero, natutuwa na ako kasi nagiimprove na ang performance ko sa theology. i hope i can keep this up, lalo na sa quizzes. bawi na 'to!
3. wednesday and thursday: HOORAY! instant weekend. a well-deserved break for us. kailangan na kailangan ko 'to. sarap matulog. sarap magpahinga. yes! siyempre wala akong ginawa. buhay-baboy. and yes, i had to fix my WONDERFUL computer.
4. friday: sayang. sana tinuluy-tuloy na. free cut first period pero dumating ako nang maaga. KAINIS. wala rin lang ang araw -- masyadong light.




this weekend - ayos lang
1. nagrummage sale kami sa tres. balak ko lang dapat half day lang ako kasi mayroon akong gagawing iba at medyo traumatic ang naging experience ko sa rummage sale last year. pero ngayon, nagkadrive akong gumising nang maaga at tumulong. hindi ako nabigo. ang SAYA! i had a wonderful experience in being the cashier and seeing that cash flow in. nakikita ko rin kung paano nageenjoy ang mga tao sa mura at dekalidad na ukay-ukay. kahit nakakapagod at nakakaubos ng enerhiya ang araw, it was all worth it. thanks to those who donated and to the companies and hotels who donated. maraming salamat po. ang laki ng kinita at natutuwa ang buong komunidad sa naging resulta ng lahat ng paghihirap.

2. after rummage sale, we went home immediately because i had to get that notes for sa21 test. after getting the notes, pumunta kami ng bossing ko sa mcdo para kumain kasama ng iba pa naming nakasama sa rummage sale. doon, we saw hot lesbian action going on. ganun pala ang itsura ng two people of the same gender fooling around. hehe. "fooling around" syempre, pinanood namin sila. medyo awkward lang kasi nakaupo sila kung saan kitang-kita sila ng nasa loob maging ng nasa labas. kakaiba! lakas ng loob! hehe. however, i can just imagine how... nuff said. hihihihi.

3. area. yes. area. coming from rummage sale, kulang pa ako sa recharge. nakatulog ako while installing quicktime to view that cardona slap. siyempre, dahil pagod ako, nagising ako nang late so pinaghintay ko ang mga areamates ko. area was not the best of the year but it was not the worst either. it was okay. medyo alarming nga lang na naramdaman ko na wala rin akong ginagawa. ganun pala yung pakiramdam na paikut-ikot at parang naliligaw sa sarili mong komunidad? however, it ended perfectly. nakakain kami nang marami at nakalibot ako ng mga pamilya namin.

4. last for this weekend. ATENEO WON! blowout man. galing niyong lahat. hats off to you guys. ONE BIG FIGHT, GO ATENEO! keep it up. tuluy-tuloy na 'to.

5. wait... i missed lots of things to do. ARGGGGHH. cramming na naman... ayoko na.




to cap it off, thank you LORD for a wonderful week. you've shown me through these experiences how much you are loving and how you are good and great. I LOVE YOU, LORD.

8.26.2004

the return

yes, i'm back at last! after being isolated from the internet for almost a week because my stupid computer jammed, i'm back. i've been to hell with this computer just after reformatting. grrr... i can't elaborate yet because i have to return to fixing all the stuff i need to install and i surely miss my YM! huhuhu. biruin niyo, kailangan kong ireformat ng 2 beses dahil sa mga bwisit na virus (trojans and worms) na nagkalat sa internet. agh. but, i really am glad i'm back at blogging. gonna share my weekend next blog.

8.20.2004

BNO hangover

this will be short and sweet since i am not done with my psych project.huhuhuhu.

this day has become very unproductive. after coming from the house of our orgmate, where we held the boys' night out of our organization, i was so tired that i wasn't able to even begin my project for psych which was given many weeks ago and due tomorrow. agh! kaya nagmamadali akong itype ito. sige. sa susunod na lang ang reflection.

8.15.2004

i'm THE HELPER

kaya pala... coming to understanding with the enneagram, i'm more of the helper and it fits perfectly with myself. i realized that the reason why sometimes i feel like i'm carrying the burden of the world is that i am a helper according to the enneagram. kaya pala... kaya pala pakiramdam ko mabigat. i'm amazed at the enneagram and i would like to understand it more and buti na lang, nasa ilalim siya ng psychology, my course! woohoo...

8.14.2004

MABIGAT

though it may be very difficult to understand, i am feeling very heavy. yes, i've gone over my desolation phase and i feel very revitalized and rejuvinated but i realize that there's more to my new drive to go on and push through. i have this load to carry -- and a big one at that. thankfully, i can grasp it with my little background in psychology but it is not enough. kailangan kong makilahok upang aking madama. kailangan kong makisawsaw upang aking maintindihan. kailangan kong makisama upang makibahagi. mahirap. mapanganib. MABIGAT.

i am fortunate that i have my faith.
i am fortunate that i have friends.
i am fortunate that i have a good family.
i am fortunate that i am me. :D

thank you Lord.

8.12.2004

i'm living a simple life

my life is very simple. i thank the Lord for revealing that to me. i wanted a simple life and it is really simple than what i perceive it to be. i don't know. i really believed that it was too complicated but after discernment and reflection, it is not. i am the one responsible for making it too complicated.

one thing to do: stop and look back. i can't look at the details of the picture of my life if i'm looking at it closely.

my goodness, thank you mam rence for that make-up test. i take back whatever prejudices i have. thank you mam. i misjudged you.

8.09.2004

70th post

yes. i never thought i will reach this far. next time siguro i will post my long reflections about what is going on in my life pero so far, i am not really in the mood for anything. i am still in my depressed and desolate mode. i don't really no exactly why but i have this feeling of emptiness and purposelessness. kaya medyo tinatamad ako to do my usual blogging.

8.06.2004

HIATUS

yes. i have not posted anything this august. hiatus is the appropriate term. it's not that i'm not in the mood for blogging. it's just that this is a STRESSFUL week.

reasons why i am stressed:
1. i still have no good sleep as i am typing this.
2. org stuff (lack of it...)
3. post-org stuff
4. socio-anthro reporting
5. STATISTICS!!! everything about it, EVEN the TEACHER!
6. filipino reporting and that conspiracy against us
7. THEO orals and bad performance
8. desolation and depression
9. lack of purpose
10.and all those stressful points in my life...

i am a bit depressed because of my lack of enthusiasm in accomplishing work and in studying. i am scared because i am losing that motivation to continue studying. i am still enjoying some of my subjects but some are getting into me. agh. i really need time alone and time to think. sigh.

actually, i wanted to write my blog but in choosing between blogging and finishing my homework/project/worksheet in time that i may get any sleep, i was left with no choice. yun. kaya nawala ako for a while.

10 things i am thankful for this week...
1. mam mira's openness to our class
2. good presentation for sa21
3. better theo performance (?)
4. porqi time
5. clc friends
6. prayer unit
7. feeling of worthlessness
8. stress (i was too laxed for the early part of this sem)
9. the gift of emotions
10.my porqi time... a time alone

ang sayang magblog muli. i promise to write more.