staying OUT

probably, many are wondering why i love to stay out after school. marami sigurong nagtataka. bakit kaya ako kumakain sa labas, malapit naman bahay ko? bakit hindi pa ako umuwi nang maaga, malapit naman bahay ko? bakit gusto ko pang lumayo kaysa umuwi?

my answer will be very simple. i just love being with my community any chance i have. kaya, i would grab any opportunity to eat out, to go watch a movie, to go malling, to go joyriding o kahit ano pang kakaibang gawain basta kasama mga kacommunity ko. ewan ko. this is how i am attached to them and to the aclc. siguro, staying out is my unconscious way of showing how much i am attached.

i just love being with them. i love to observe them. i love to chat with them. i love to share ideas, stories, and of course, chismis with them. most of all, i just love their company. iba eh. at home na at home ka tuwing kasama mo sila. of course, hindi siya boring.

kaya, minsan, kahit mahirap at magastos, sa loob-loob ko, hindi ko pwedeng palagpasin ang isang gabing may lalabas na grupo ng mga kacommunity namin. i just love being part of the community. though it may be impractical, this is my way of showing that love.

bcuz of u my life has changed...

i watched B'CUZ OF U kanina and i had fun. it was a funny movie not because of the intended humor but because of the cheeziness of the film. the cheeziness, however, did not make me feel very annoyed. it actually made me feel good. i really needed to watch such movie to at least lighten up my week.

hindi naman mabigat ang linggo subalit masaya na rin na meron akong napanood na pelikulang masaya. haha. anyway, i wanted to watch bcuz of you ever since. gusto kong mapanood ang first movie nina hero and sandara and in fairness to these newcomers, sila ang pinakamaayos at may pinakamakulay na kwento doon sa tatlo. nagustuhan ko rin ang pagkakatagpi-tagpi ng kwento sa pamamagitan ng sasakyan. naappreciate ko tuloy ang beetle.

overall, it was a feel good yet no brainer movie. it is entertaining but it does not involve thinking. hehe. manonood ka lang talaga. pero, nagustuhan ko na rin siya. may boring parts, may extremely cheezy and absurd parts and of course, may masayang parts.

heart and geoff's story is PACUTE. hero and sandara's story is CUTE and FUNNY. kristine and diether's story is WEIRD pero OUCH. the story and the script is medyo cheezy. may funny parts naman at entertaining. i commend the production and direction. asteeeg. malupit pa rin ang star cinema. i also commend the supporting cast, especially si pokwang sa kwento nina hero. of course, sa isang cheezy or jologs movie, maraming quotable quotes. kaya masaya!

"Pinatawad mo na ba ako?"
"Humingi ka na ba ng tawad?"
OUCH.

peace out.

hey, at last i'm back

this week is very light.

o di ba? monday, no classes. friday, acp day. masaya! kaso nga lang, i had this feeling that i need to accomplish something this week but i don't know what it is. mahirap siya kasi nga di ko alam kung anong kailangan kong tapusin. all i know is that the welcoming night later tonight is the heaviest load i had for this week. well, that excludes acp of course.

i don't wanna talk about acp. nakakainis lang siyang isipin. yung mga problemang naencounter ng class namin ay dahil sa acp core mismo. had they coordinated and worked together well, none of the hassle that my partner and i faced in facilitating the class would happen. nakakainis talaga. avoidable eh. grabe. but don't get me wrong, i would suggest that they retain the class that we facilitated. i was enlightened with the lecture and the eating, of course. mas masarap ang pagkain kung alam mo ang kinakain mo. of course, our food reveals our identity as a people -- as filipinos. i got this sense of appreciation for our rich culture as revealed by our food.

woohoo... busog ka na sa sikmura, busog pa sa kaalaman.

alas!

yehey. actually, noong thursday pa ako mayroong prepaid internet so makakablog na ako ulit. yahoo. pasensya na't hindi ako nakablog noong thursday and friday dahil masyadong marami akong inalalang mga bagay na walang kinalaman sa academics. ugh. hehehe. what more kung may academics na di ba? tsktsktsk.

i hope i can write more reflections.

dear blog...

for a while, i will not be able to blog because i don't have any unlimited time from prepaid internet. it is sad but i really cannot blog the way i used to. pansamantala, wala munang mahahabang entries. puro maiikli na lang muna.

sige. kita-kits na lang muna.

song entry: kitchie nadal - wag na wag mong sasabihin

may gusto ka bang sabihin
ba't 'di mapakali
ni hindi makatingin
sana'y 'wag mo na itong palipasin
at subukang lutasin
sana'y sinabi mo na

iba'ng nararapat sa akin
na tunay kong mamahalin

oh, wag na wag mong sasabihin
na hindi mo nadama itong
pag-ibig kong handang
ibigay kahit pa kalayaan mo

ano man ang iyong akala
na ako'y isang bituin
na walang sasambahin
di ko man ito ipakita
abot-langit ang daing
sana'y sinabi mo na

iba'ng nararapat sa akin
na tunay kong mamahalin

oh, wag na wag mong sasabihin
na hindi mo nadama itong
pag-ibig kong handang
ibigay kahit pa kalayaan mo

oh, wag na wag mong sasabihin
na hindi mo nadama itong
pag-ibig kong handang
ibigay kahit pa kalayaan mo

~ malupit itong kantang ito. this is a song of letting go someone you loved who happened to be numb. kebs lang. ouch!

second sem -- first week

what a first week of school!!

aside from my litany last wednesday, i can add some more but i don't want to bore myself of an enumeration of things that happened. ngunit, subalit, pero't datapwat, maraming mga pangyayari na sadyang kakaiba sa mga nakaraang unang linggo ng ibang semester ko sa ateneo. i must admit from wednesday up until saturday, i had a jampacked week filled with so much stuff that did not even involve academics. hah!

THURSDAY
nothing much happened. i met my pingpong teacher. damn, i don't have any pe t-shirt. i still have to buy one. grr... although he seems very easy, my classmates do not seem very easy opponents. ang daming magagaling. hahaha. after pingpong, i decided to wait for 2 and 1/2 hours before my next class. can i just say that it is really really dragging to wait for that long before the next class. haha.

i met both my personality and devpsych teachers. they seem very nice. mukha namang kayang-kaya ang kanilang mga klase. yung sa personality, feeling ko medyo laid-back at easy-going though interesting ang background niya as a psychoanalyst. yung sa devpsych, naging teacher na sa xavier so familiar face siya and mukha namang okay siya at mabait.

this day i spent most of my time bugging the eco department for the erratic scheduling of our eco102 class. kaya feeling ko kilalang-kilala na ako roon. hehehe. kulit ko eh.

i waited afterwards kasi magcacarolling practice ako. we polished and learned the songs. malupit ang practice na'to. hindi ko kinaya.

we had dinner in wok dis way (ayoko nang kainin ang seafood rice nila) and went to munch kung saan kumakain ang iba kong orgmates. hehe. wala lang. masaya lang maghangout lalo na't wala pang masyadong pinagagawa.

---

FRIDAY
this is the best day of my first week. PINAKAMAHABA rin siya.

well, it started out when i woke up at 8:10 am knowing that i have a class at 8:30. i ended up arriving in ateneo 5 minutes later than the start of class. luckily, since we're 80 in the sci10 class, roll call took more than 5 minutes before it reached my name. kaya nandoon na ako nung tinawag niya ang pangalan ko. we had the usual lecture in sci10. i noticed something. tuwing maayos at organized ang lecture, mabilis. kung magulo maglecture ang teacher, mabagal ang oras.

we had a 2 hour break due to the free cut of our history teacher who is currently in singapore for his japanese studies blah blah. so i decided to go to mindmovers and see some books of my course. i invited some of my orgmates and we all went. masaya siya kasi ang dami naming pumunta tapos wala lang... ang daming books! after that, we had breakfast in kfc. chat chat chat.

nabigla lang ako na sa ue na nakaenroll si karen. nalungkot ako bigla.

when i went to my eco class, it was quite suspenseful since we are going to know the fate of our class schedule. when the teacher arrived, she mentioned the schedule she proposed. wala akong lusot sa schedule. wala akong klase sa oras na iyon. pero at that point, i don't really want to transfer anymore since ang teacher dapat namin ay mabait naman, mahusay magpaliwanag at madali. sayang sana kung lilipat pa ako. we spent half of the class fixing the erratic schedule and we ended up staying at the 1130 to 1230 class, with an option of replacing the teacher. sayang! dami rin kasing reklamo more than the conflict of schedule, maraming sinusundo, sumusundo, nagtatrabaho and all that jazz. kaya magulo talaga. in fact, at that time, ayoko nang magpalit ng teacher. nagexplain na kasi siya at sayang kasi madali siyang magpaliwanag. she uses layman's terms to explain economics clearly. ngayon hindi ko alam kung sino ang teacher namin. sabi nga ni bianca, baka terror pa yan, sayang naman. grrrr... hehehe.

by the way, our new teacher is Mr. Fabian Mangahas. no known reviews. all we know is that he has high standards because of his background. eco-h, awardee, etc etc.

after eco, i walked to bel. nakakatamad! ang layo! ang ending, free cut. grr... ayos lang sana kung nasa main campus kami eh. kaso, babalik pa kami. lakad na naman. nasa japan pa yata si mam nagai-yabut eh. hehehe.

pagkatapos nito, i looked for a classmate to inquire about mam lalu-santos. nagkataon kasi, marami akong kaibigan ang teacher siya ngayon. hehehe. good luck to them! i had one hell of a semester last sem due to filipino. ang saya-saya. i am willing to give more tips to my friends about her style and her way of teaching.

so since tapos na ang klase, i waited. computer muna. internet. ayos ng schedule. ayos ng groupings. lib. hintay hanggang mag430, kahit ayokong magACP training. pero kailangan eh. ugh.

we had the training and ang daming nangyari pa rin. oh well. quiet na lang muna. hehehe.

after the training, we went back to the room. i missed practice. sayang. tapos, gusto ko sanang magattend ng first friday mass sa gesu. kaso wala na akong kasama. hmph. so, naghintay na lang kami sa room. naglaro kami ng napakasayang "BOING BOING game." isa siyang instant community building activity with bonus of laglagan and bonding. masaya talaga siya.

matapos nito, takbo kami ng eastwood to watch the incredibles. so habang nakisakay ako kay geo-ann, we had a wealthy (hehehe) conversation. masyadong malaman ang aming pinag-usapan. masaya! akin na lang yun. di pwedeng ishare sa blog gaya ng ibang nagshashare sa blog. then, we watched the movie. ang saya! i really love pixar's work. maganda ang pelikula dahil sa kakaibang anggulo ng pagiging superhero. hindi siya cheezy. it is a mixture of family, suspense, action, comedy, drama, adventure and animation. i really love these forms of cartoons kasi akmang-akma pa sa edad ko. to tell you the truth, ganitong cartoon ang gusto ko. magaling ang pagkakagawa. maganda ang storya. masayang panoorin. all in all, MAGALING!

we parted ways in eastwood and i joined the sophomores to eric's place in st.ignatius. doon kami kumain. masaya pa rin. haha. 12 midnight na, nasa labas pa rin ako. hehehe. nagkwentuhan lang kami at nagtour sa napakalaking bahay ni eric na maraming secret passageways. ang saya, pwede kang mawala and very interesting siya. hehehehe.

after coming from eric's place, we proceeded to meatshop to greet aba happy birthday and join our other orgmates who were drinking there. kwento ulit tapos punta ng seattle's best. kwento pa rin hanggang sa pagod na lahat. oh well. i went home at 2 am. galit na siguro sa akin magulang ko dahil hindi ako nagpaalam.

by the way... note to self: HULI na siguro muna 'to pansamantala sa sem na ito. tutok sa pag-aaral na at sa org work.

---

SATURDAY
i woke up at 11 knowing that i have a first aid training at 9 am. hehe. late na late. napuyat ako eh. in fairness, masaya kasi ang ginawa ko kinagabihan eh.

nakakatawa lang ang first aid training. nakakatawa ang nagdedemo para siyang si love anover. and everything! hehehe. makulit. tapos after we ate our free lunch, we went to the room to speak to people. wala lang, makipagkulitan lang at kwentuhan. then, i returned to the training. noong puro demonstration na ng bandages, lumabas na ako to go to the payatas a meeting. i heard nandoon si marky. kailangan ko lang makipagkwentuhan. yes, tama kayo kwentuhan lang ang ginawa ko ngayong araw. then, off to ice monster.

tapos na ang sabado ko. kakapagod kasi yung biyernes eh. i need to rest.
area na sa linggo. gawdluck.

by the way...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOSSING ROBBIE!!! *saludo* HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIR!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ABA!!! ayan eh...

i wish you both good health, good grades and lovelife. hah! hehe. God bless at sana patuloy pa kayong magbigay sa community. hwag kalimutang mahal namin kayo.

this entry is too long already.
PORQI out.

first day

hah! i did it. first day.

i thought that my first day would be very boring. and so i thought. this day had been very jampacked with different firsts and news (balita). hehehe. today became very juicy and thrilling. why? aside from meeting my teachers for the first time, the first day became an adventure through class mix-ups, chismis and org stuff.

so what happened today. let's enumerate.
1. i slept at 4 am. hah!
2. i woke up at 8 am. HAH!
3. i came in just in time for sci10 and we met ma'am assunta cuyegkeng. our class is very big and is filled with comm majors. (nakoh. kelangang cumareer sa recitation.) wow, we had our first lecture today. it was only an introduction to science and society and technology.
4. i went to my first second sem 1 hr break. bitin! then, i started walking towards my first class in BEL. i realized that walking to bellarmine is not the ideal thing you would want in your college life.
5. history went okay. our teacher was okay. we had a game. at least, free cut on friday.
6. we rushed back to the main campus. and oh, ECO. we met our "bitchy" teacher. FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS: change the schedule of our class. what the? di ba? i had lots to say about this order of business but i think i have shared this one with lots of people. i'm kinda tired in talking about it. basta, this BUSINESS led me to get my first load revision form.
7. after that HORRIBLE subject, i went running back to BEL for my japanese class. and to my surprise, my first second sem free cut. i realized that it is not nice to have a class in bel then the teacher would not attend because i have to walk back again right after walking to the building.
8. my first official tambay in the aclc room. as usual, masaya.
9. off to my first load rev form together with venjo. siya rin, first time niya. hehehehe.
10. i settled my issues with the economics department. hold daw muna kasi BAWAL ang pinagagagawa ng teacher namin sa economics. HMPH! anyway, kung mangyari ang gusto niya, i would be the first one to leave her class. I WORKED WITHIN MY SCHEDULE AND HERE COMES A TEACHER WHO CANNOT LIVE UP TO THE GIVEN SCHEDULE AND RUIN MINE. bahala siya. pasimio or simon-king are good alternatives for such a teacher.
11. siyempre may nasagap akong MA-juice. hehehehehe. radar up again. toot. toot. toot. hehehehe. funny siya yet insightful.
12. first dinner out of the semester. kfc.

i'm looking forward to tomorrow. marami pang maaaring mangyari. it's my first time to have an official class starting at 12 nn. it's my first psych for the second sem tomorrow. it's my first PE for the second sem tomorrow (also my last). it's my first time to return to a department after an official complaint. it's my first time meeting with my head for the sem. it's my first time to attend an appeals for aclc. marami pang firsts tomorrow and i'm very much excited. i hope i maintain this excitement and energy for the rest of the sem.

ericka made a litany of hellos. let me make my own. hello cramming. hello sleepless nights. hello papers. hello long tests. hello. hello. hello.

sana marami rin akong masagap bukas.
RADAR UP!

ayt. sige. yun muna for the first day.

song entry: MYMP - tibok ng puso

kung sinabi mo noon ako'y iyong mahal
di sana ay tayo na ang nagkatuluyan
at sinabi ko noon ikaw ang mahal ko
ito'y tapat at may dalang walang hanggang pangako

ngunit di nagkatotoo
may iba kang nakita
kaya't nakapagtataka
ba't ako'y hinahanap mo pa
kung tayo'y magkikitang muli
pwedeng magtanong sayo
ang tibok ba ng puso mo'y nagbago

kung sinabi mo noon ika'y may pagtingin
di sana ay wala nang makapaghadlang sa atin
at sinabi ko noon na ikaw lang ang mahal
ang nasa isip ko ito ay pagtataka

ngunit di nagkatotoo
may iba kang nakita
kayat nakapagtataka
ba't ako'y hinahanap mo pa
kung tayo'y magkikitang muli
pwedeng magtanong sayo
ang tibok ba ng puso mo'y nagbago

~ this group has managed to write and perform songs that brings "kilig" into the atmosphere. siguro dahil malamig ang boses ng lead singer pero i really love this song. "kung..." isang malaking kung.

yes... you're right. i'm still awake.

hehehe. roughly four and a half hours before my semester officially begins, i am still awake. you can call it laziness or procrastination but i don't feel like sleeping yet. siguro my OCness is getting the better of me. madalas kasi na tuwing may gusto akong gawin, gusto ko nagagawa ko agad. so, as i was browsing through different blogs and LJs, i was able to see some of my friends who were blogging and i was able to read some entries.

something intrigued me... ayokong sabihin baka mahalatang alam ko. hehehe. si marky lang ang makakaintindi nitong information ko. sabi nga niya, something he learned in highschool. ako rin. ngayon, i'm using these skills to find out some information.

back in my filipino stallion days, i would hear it from our moderator: "****, i can read between the lines." yes, that memory is still vivid. the skill of reading between lines has been something that i have been mastering since high school. it's one of the best subtle ways of gathering information necessary for the beautiful and wonderful world of chismis. kapag walang magawa di ba? i think people would really think that this is starting to be a senseless entry.

medyo lang. i was just overwhelmed and amazed at something i just read from the blogs. hahaha. pwedeng akin na muna. sabihin ko na lang privately kung merong naiintriga. by reading between lines (actually medyo obvious nga eh), may natuklasan ako. sana lang hindi nagbabasa ng blog ang taong yun. hahahaha. oh well.

i just can't wait to go to school and start another sem. grrrr.... hehehe.

GOD's LOVE pa rin!

a new sem begins...

in 7 and a half hours, i will start a new sem. ugh. how i wish i could extend my sembreak but that's life. and life is unfair. oh well. i have to live with it.

for this sem, let's see... i need to have resolutions. i know new year is not yet here but hey, there's nothing wrong with having my own list for the second sem.
1. minimize cuts. i miss a lot, and i mean A LOT, when i cut. remember, theo. hehe.
2. do homework or paper early.
3. wake up early. the difficult part here is that i love to use the free hours of the internet.
4. be with reliable groupmates.
5. i have to run some more. with a 3 hour straight schedule (BEL-KOSTKA-BEL), i think i need to run more.
6. study harder. i think i did less during the last sem.
7. MAGIS. i never thought i had this last sem.
8. start early. don't rely on the last minute.
9. one day at a time.
10. ENJOY LIFE! learning is everything. grades are nothing.

wala lang. i think i need this list to remind me that i need to improve lots of things from last sem. i regret not doing the best that i could. i should have gotten much better grades and probably, a slot in the dean's list. however, i did not exert much effort and i did not do well.

well, bukas na ulit. pasukan na naman at gaya ng nasabi, gusto kong pumasok ngunit ayoko pang mag-aral. hehehe. ayt!

---

as i type, the US is having their elections. i hope John Kerry wins. the US needs a president who thinks.

JARGON entry

heto ang isang entry ng mga madalas na expressions na nagagamit sa araw-araw. susubukin bigyan ng kahulugan ngunit ang iba'y wala lang talagang kahulugan. masaya lang silang ipunin at kung babalikan, makikita kung kailan ito nagamit at kanino nagmula.

1. God's Love -- after the retreat, there's this feeling of overwhelming consolation na hindi mo alam kung sino ang gusto mong pasalamatan kaya ang sasabihin na lang namin, God's Love.
2. consolation -- spiritual movement that leads you closer to God
3. desolation -- spiritual movement that leads you away from God
4. kebs -- bahala na. wala akong pakialam.
5. kere (carry) -- ok ba? gwapo/maganda ba?
6. ayan eh -- galing kay aba. wala lang. reaction lang siya.
7. magnum silencium -- great silence. pang-retreat lang.
8. tantum quantum -- whatever works.
9. cba -- community building activity. pang-bonding.
10. choz/chika/chikee -- chika lang
11. okay... (sarcastic) -- talaga lang ha?
12. 3-2-1 -- top 3 sa community
13. distraction -- nakakagulo ng pagdarasal
14. fly -- alis na
15. shala -- sosyal


marami pa 'to at madadagdagan pa 'to sigurado. wala lang. i just want to keep track of these expressions as i grow up. hehe. cheezy di ba?

new GIMIK

i'm thinking of a new gimik for my blog to improve my blogging and to add spice to my reflections. i came up with this idea. i'm going to type out many questions and pick one every evening and type my reaction/reflection. for example, what would i do if i were given a million dollars to spend in one day?

parang ganyan kaso gusto ko mga masasayang katanungan. i want to improve on critical thinking, reflecting and reacting towards issues, questions or situations.

pang-psychology talaga di ba? hehe.

one full day

yes. i have one full day left before the second semester begins. it's quarter to five in the morning and i am just savoring this whole day before i immerse myself in the cruel world of ateneo academics. to tell you the truth, i haven't slept yet. i wanted to enjoy a whole sleepless evening up until morning doing absolutely nothing related to school.

grabe. nakakabitin ang bakasyon. pero siguro kaya damang-dama ko ang pagiging bitin ay dahil sa retreat. pagkatapos ng isang linggong katahimikan, pagbalik ko't paglabas, ubos na ang isang linggo at reg week na. ayos di ba? what's left of that week is not enough to do things i wanted to do since the end of the first sem and worse, it is not enough for relaxation.

may problema nga lang. madali akong mabagot. i easily get bored. actually, i want to go to school already -- meet my friends, be with my orgmates, see my blockmates, talk to people, meet my new teachers and classmates. did i mention study? nope. i want to go to school not to study and not to work but to hang out. maling lugar ba ang gusto kong puntahan? hehe. well, bitin na bitin kasi ang bakasyon eh.

oh well. before i forget, i came from the province. two evenings i spent there. well, it was similar to the retreat but i was not able to pray. i just slept (the bed made my back ache badly!) and ate. parang retreat pero wala talagang dasal! hehe. well, many things you could not do there and those things preoccupy me often. what happens? i end up getting bored. kahit pa lumabas kami ng bahay at pumunta ng beach, same banana. i end up getting bored. hindi naman kami lumalangoy at isa pa, wala rin akong magawa doon. maglasing? no way. kumain? wala namang kakainin. haaaay... oh well. i hope we spend christmas here in manila because i heard that my folks are going to bring the suman my aunt ordered for the blessing of the new convent. yahooo!

ONE FULL DAY LEFT!!!